Glorying

There are times when I almost forget what used to make me lose my head. Really lose my head. Forget time, space and existence. Just dive and let my most intimate, most sacred talent blossom.
Writing used to be that for me a long time ago. Before the jobs, the bank loans, the leased cars, the phone bills and the need to meet everyone’s expectations. Now I try to steal a minute or two to write a smart remark or a valuable thought in my little red book. But I opened it today and saw that it is more full of calculations and contractors’ contacts that with the little stars of my imagination.
What makes you lose yor head?

Понякога почти забравям какво ме караше да се самозабравя. Наистина да се забравя. Да залича времето, мястото и битието. Просто да се потопя и да оставя най-тънката и фина искрица талант да разцъфне.
Преди много време за мен това беше писането. Преди професиите, службите, кредитите, лизингите, сметките за телефон и нуждата да посрещам очаквания. Сега се опитвам да открадна минутка или две, за да запиша някоя хитроумна забележка или ценна мисъл в малкото си червено тефтерче. Но днес го отворих и видях, че е повече пълно със сметки и телефони на майстори, отколкото с малките звезди на моето въображение.
А какво кара вас да се самозабравяте?

I know this title may be shocking to most, but I really mean it.
Think about it: the moment you jump over 30, you all of a sudden stop worrying about things that would have brought you crazy just a year ago. Stuff like an annoying colleague, a grumpy shop girl, a hostile remark, or even a bad hair day could not even make a stir in the air I breathe these days.
I find this very very very refreshing. I feel more serene and at peace with myself and my surroundings than ever. I no longer depend on other people’s attitude towards me to feel happy. Just as no one’s opinion of me can mar my bliss if I have decided to be blissful that particular day.
Especially a week before my so long dreamt vacation, getting angry over anything other than the possibility of the weather going all crazy during that one week that is supposed to be perfection, is rather impossible for me.
» Read the rest of this entry «

Tomorrow is a very important day for me. I cannot tell you much because it’s very personal, but if all goes well, tomorrow will be the end of something old and wrong, and the beginning of something new and good.
We light a little candle here when we really pray for something. This is my small candlelight today.
Fingers crossed.